SURVIVING WITHOUT BOOZE

Basically, I don't remember a time when I wasn't keeping some kind of feeling or thought hidden away, or conditioning myself to hide my feelings and put on my game face. I used to blame my love of alcohol on the lack of stable, responsible and healthy father figures, and the normalization of booze and drugs from an early age. And sometimes I would even let myself believe that I was somehow predestined to be an alcoholic because that's just “what we did”.

MY OLD FLAME

For me, anxiety started as that feeling of rocking on your chair a little too hard and tipping over the point of balance. If you manage to catch yourself before it’s too late the relief is almost euphoric, if you don’t, you end up in a heap on the floor, aching.

BACK TO SCHOOL BLUES

I was starting to get scared, scared of my inability to have fun with my kid anymore. How was I supposed to fill his day? I am not a Butlins red coat! I'm depressed. I can 'extrovert' when I need to, but 6 weeks is a long time for me to wear the mask without a slip.

LIVING WITH LIFE AND LOVE AFTER LOSS

Life after loss, pregnancy after loss, love after loss… I still struggle with these daily but I also conquer them too. I still have panic attacks, I still struggle without my Heaven Husband and My Heaven Son, I still carry that hurt and pain in my heart, so heavy, but I also live my life to the fullest for them.

MENTAL MUTHA MEETS NICOLA GIBB

Becoming a mother has both helped my mental health and made me much more aware of it. I have more purpose than ever before but the overwhelm can sometimes lead to me thinking I am going fucking crazy and sticking a label on myself that doesn’t actually apply. I am a mother feeling overwhelm.

POST PARTUM PSYCHOSIS

I blanked out that I had just given birth and this was my third child. In my mind I had two children and this baby was a doll that I had been given as an experiment. I thought that our road had been cordoned off by police because I was a massive risk. I was in denial.

MENTAL MUTHA MEETS MUMMY IN TRAINING

I am definitely a mental Mum. It is something that has taken me a long time to accept though. I have suffered with anxiety pretty much since I gave birth and for the first couple of years I felt like a full on failure. Now, however I’m okay with it. I’m still a good Mum. Yes, I suffer with my mental health. Yes, things are sometimes harder than I’d like and yes, anxiety is crap.

MENTAL MUTHA MEETS EMMA WEIR

My therapist and doctor helped get me out of the dark, they helped me to accept my emotions around moving to Australia. I felt so guilty and pathetic, like an annoying fly buzzing around a perfectly made G&T - I’m living in paradise, what was I complaining about? Normally I would talk to my husband or my Mum, my friends, but I couldn’t – I felt ridiculously disconnected.