MENTAL MUTHA MEETS GRACE TIMOTHY
"Grace Timothy is a features writer who moved from fashion to beauty and finally settled on motherhood when an episiotomy changed her sense of perspective forever." - Legit if you google GT this is what comes up. This encapsulates perfectly the journey of Motherhood for me too, because even with 9 months to prepare, motherhood still slaps us in the tits and kicks us in the fanny on the way out and then you have a baby.
Grace is also my BFF from school innit and my number one woman when it comes to my depression and anxiety. She knows before I do sometimes that S**T is about to hit the proverbial fan. We communicate through GIFS and when we are not discussing if we would shag Snape from Harry Potter we are being 'real women' with jobs and kids and stuff.
Grace has just written a BOOK - an actual book with words, no pictures or anything so you know it's a big deal and I couldn't be more proud of this funny, brilliant woman, mother and gal pal.
MENTAL MUTHA MEETS GRACE TIMOTHY
Are you a mental Mum or a Mum that’s mental?
I definitely have some mental health issues but I have a semblance of a handle on it right now.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Meditate? Talk? Hide?
Breathe, hide, sleep and distract. I talk it out with trusted people and try to rationalise the irrational. I do a LOT of sleeping when the shit hits the fan.
Do you discuss your mental health with your mum mates?
Yes definitely - I had some therapy and then a few friends have since been to see the same therapist. The close relationships have all included full disclosure of the darkest bits at some stage.
How do you tackle mental health chats with your kid’s?
I’ve just tried to pass on the relaxation techniques I use, so we have a lot of lavender baths, breathing exercises, quiet reading, meditation CDs. Sleep was a huge thing for me, and good eating, as a way to balance moods and sort of start out on the right foot, supporting the mind with a healthy body as much as possible. But I live in fear that she’ll experience the anxiety issues I’ve had since I was about 8 or 9.
Who helps you in the dark? (In your pits, your mental rock bottom - who is your hero?)
My mum, always, and nowadays, my husband Rich. Of course, sometimes the problem begins there, too. But mostly, he helps me find my way out of the darkest bits.
What helps you in the light? (Meditation? Procrastination? Perspiration? People?)
Sleep, loads of sleep. Quiet time when nothing is demanded of me. Sometimes that’s when I’m working (because I work alone) but it might also be a bath or reading or watching TV.
Is it hard to talk about your mental health? (Doesn't mean on Instagram necessarily, but do you feel the stigma is lifting and do you feel safe to speak your mind, even if it is possibly 'mental’?)
I think it was, or else it was hard to speak seriously about it. I used to make lots of jokes about my most painful experiences. But the worst experiences often make for the best anecdotes (I think Caitlin Moran’s quote, not mine), so I personally have worried less about what people might think and more, how can I use this story.
Where’s your head at?
Today is a good day - I’m getting butterflies about the school run tomorrow but otherwise I feel fairly calm. I feel happy.
Soft Play or rehab?
Jacobs Creek or Jacobs Cracker?
With cheese? Both.
Nut Job or Nut Allergy?
Self-Care or Self Sabotage?
Self-care is my favourite, but self sabotage is a habit that’s hard to break. I’m getting better at it though.
Journal or jog?
Ask for help or happy to hermit?
Ask for help. Lots of help.
If you'd like to read more conversations with Mental Muthas, click HERE.
Women talking unashamedly about their mental health and parenting innit.