Are you a mental Mum or a Mum that’s mental?

I think I'm a bit of both. I have my own mental health issues, but I also seldom conform to what's expected of a woman/mother/lesbian/all of the above. That being said, I often feel like a Metronome ticking to and from either side. If I'm having a bad day I'm the former, on a good day I'm the latter.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Meditate? Talk? Hide?

I get out and about. Whether it's on my own, with the dog, or with my toddler. To a coffee shop, the park, or to Pets at Home. I get out. It's helped over the years to do this as I would have just escaped onto the phone, previously. But we know how toxic social media can be - that's not a good place to be when you're not feeling yourself.

Do you discuss your mental health with your mum mates?

I do and I don't. I'm open when I say I'm not having a good day and that being a mum is a bit shit today. But my inner mental health issues? Probably not as much as I should do.

How do you tackle mental health chats with your kid’s?

We probably haven't got to that stage yet (he's two), but I already have an open relationship with him where I am honest and open about how I'm feeling as well as how he's feeling - even if mummy is having a bad day. In return, he does the same and I make sure he knows that the feelings he has are valid. Already, at the age of two, he knows how to communicate and if his mummy or mama are having a bad day he knows that today is probably not the day to ask for his pink cup instead of the green one!

I am honest and open about how I’m feeling as well as how he’s feeling - even if mummy is having a bad day. In return, he does the same and I make sure he knows that the feelings he has are valid.
— Kate Mitchell, Lesbemums

Who helps you in the dark? (In your pits, your mental rock bottom - who is your hero?)

My wife. My better 3/4. I can talk to her about anything. I don't feel so vulnerable when I talk to her about how I'm feeling. She accepts me for who I am.

What helps you in the light? (Meditation? Procrastination? Perspiration? People?)

My Bullet Journal or a change of scenery and/or people. In an ideal world I'd love to buy a last minute break somewhere to refresh, but seeing as that's not possible for us right now I make more local changes or make sure I've done something productive - even if it's worked on my Bullet Journal. My Bullet Journal declutters my mind and calms me. It helps me re-focus.

Is it hard to talk about your mental health? (Doesn't mean on Instagram necessarily, but do you feel the stigma is lifting and do you feel safe to speak your mind, even if it is possibly 'mental'?)

It's so hard talking about mental health, as you worry people will judge you or won't be able to relax around you after you tell them about your 'issues'. Saying that, I'm not ashamed of my mental health - it's just something I hold close to me. It feels too raw. I know that needs to change though. I know I should be talking about it more.

Where’s your head at? (Right here in this moment, today)

It's actually in a good place right now. Not great. But good. There are a few things that could be better, but when isn't there? Today I'm thankful I have a supportive family, and an amazing network of friends.

Soft Play or Rehab?

Soft Play. At least I can hide in the ball pit.

Jacobs Creek or a Jacobs Cracker? (Not sponsored)

Tough one. Both go splendid with cheese, but I can neck the Creek a lot quicker than I can the cracker.

Nut Job or Nut Allergy?

Job. I love nuts *snigger*

Self Care or Self Sabotage?

Self-care. Always self-care.

Journal or jog?

Journal. Although I'm quite partial to the occasional cycle every now and again at the moment.

Ask for help or happy to hermit?

Ask for help. You're not alone. 

Follow LESBEMUMS Kate Everall





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Women talking unashamedly about their mental health and parenting innit.