Are you a mental Mum or a Mum that’s mental?

Ummm... can I be both? 

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Meditate? Talk? Hide?

Hide at home mainly. It is my safe space and am a total introvert so love spending time at home.  I also find journalling (and now blogging) a really good way of processing my thoughts. I a  loving YouTube at the moment for finding random meditations to listen to when I am trying to quieten my mind monkeys. 

Do you discuss your mental health with your mum mates?

Not really. For some reason I find it really easy to pour out my inner most thoughts onto a blog but I struggle to speak about it in public with people. I may write something in the morning about how I was feeling and then someone will ask about it on the school run and I will just say "oh yep all good here" and move the conversation away from me. I don't know why I do this.. more habit than anything I guess. 

How do you tackle mental health chats with your kid’s?

Luckily they are too young to know anything. They just seem to mirror my mood back at me and ends up in some fraught exchange. I think they must see me being very up and down and there was one time I was on the floor crying hysterically with them both watching me... they probably just thought I was having a tantrum like my 3 year old and thought nothing of it ;-) I do need to think about how I will handle it soon. 

Who helps you in the dark? (In your pits, your mental rock bottom - who is your hero?)

My Mum always notices when I am not myself and normally pushes me towards the Homeopath as he has always helped me from a very young age. I would never take myself as I reach the point of not being bothered about feeling any better and convinced it is the world at fault and not me. I can see when I look back through what I state I was in and am sure the homeopath is what balances me out. 

What helps you in the light? 

I have battled with depression since a child and try to "sort" it myself. For some reason I have fought anti depressants as I fear they will numb my feelings and then I will put up with the life which makes me sad. So when I was first subscribed anti-depressants I left the doctors and handed in my notice instead.  I knew it was my job making me depressed and didn't want to put up with it. I sort of walk away from the things which I feel are causing me to edge towards the black pit.  Unless I am so far in the black pit and can't see anything at all in which case my Mum steps in ;) 

More recently I have been suffering from post natal depression, my daughter is three, and feel like it has stopped me from fully enjoying all that she is. I have blamed my depression on her behavior (typical threenager) but as  I am finding my way back into the light I have seen her transform with me. As a Mum it is the one thing I can not walk away from and so have had to see it through and yet all along it was my depression which was causing her to act out. I was so detached from life that I think she felt I was detached from her and was trying to get my attention. I am not a parenting expert and a bit of a navel gazer so I could be wrong but this is what I feel has been happening. 

My business also struggled alongside my depression, and was close to losing everything, as I was struggling to keep it together and it was hard on my team. Luckily it has survived and I am coming back stronger than ever. 

As I couldn't do my normal trick of walking away this time I had to find other things to bring me into the light. One thing which always works for me is Homeopathy. I have also been trying a hormone balancing diet which has had an amazing effect on me. 

I also love to create and the creativity always brings me back and helps me connect with whats going on inside. 

Is it hard to talk about your mental health? (Doesn't mean on Instagram necessarily, but do you feel the stigma is lifting and do you feel safe to speak your mind, even if it is possibly 'mental'?)

People always say I am brave to share how I feel so openly on my blog but it feels right for me to share and I don't feel awkward at all (unless someone asks me about it in person!) I think we are all suffering on some level and yet most of the world is turning a blind eye and pretending everything is ok. My homeopath said that 25% of the UK (and rising) is suffering from Mental Health issues... that is massive and I think largely down to the way society seem to be going. In such a connected world we are all becoming so disconnected. That is a whole other topic and not for now ;-) 

Where is your head at now? 

Most days are really light and am using mindfulness to keep me aware of my thoughts which would normally be pulling me down the dark ally. I am more able to think about the thoughts and consider how helpful they are rather than take them on face value. So if I start loosing myself down a rabbit warren of negative thinking, perhaps someone has treated me badly, then I am finding ways to let it go instead of it eating me up from the inside out. Still very much a work in progress but aren't we all..... I have realized I will never be 'fixed' but am sure I am getting stronger and stronger. 

Softplay or rehab? 

Softplay (did I really just say that!)

Jacobs creek or Jacobs cracker? 

Jacobs creek... a large red please ;-) 

Nut Job or Nut allergy?

Nut Job... no disguising it. 

Self care of self sabotage?

Self care but self sabotage kicks in more often than I would like. 

Journal or jog?

Journal.. 100% journal... 

Ask for help or happy to hermit? 

Happy to hermit. I never ask for help and people have to force it on me... far too independent for my own good! 



If you'd like to read more conversations with Mental Muthas, click HERE.

Women talking unashamedly about their mental health and parenting innit.