THE DEFAMATION OF A DIVINE FEMININE

THE DEFAMATION OF A DIVINE FEMININE

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THE DEFAMATION OF A DIVINE FEMININE

Malcolm James McCormick aka Mac Miller has died following an apparent overdose at just 26 years old. Mac has been rapping and sharing about both his substance abuse and sobriety since he was 15 years old and it’s just f$*king sad. Sad day for music, his friends, family and fans. Mac’s music is incredible, full of honesty and heart and we’ve lost another brilliant soul to addiction, depression and abuse.

The story ends there. There was no foul play, but that isn’t exciting is it? Addiction. Drugs. Alcohol. Fame. It reads like a check list of the demise of The American Dream, but the media have taken A+B and it = Ariana Grande. Ariana and Mac were an item for 2 years until like a lot of other people in this world they weren’t.

They were both in the public eye, we had liked the photographs of them together, listened to the music they made together and celebrated Mac’s sobriety together with Ariana, who was front line for his withdrawal, depression and relapses. That must’ve been hard and I am speaking as the Mac of the relationship.

Damn, it’s hard being the one who is depressed, who wants a way out, but imagine being the one who has to watch that? To watch the person you love not love themselves enough and the realisation that your love isn’t enough to save them from self destruction. Shortly after Miller and Grande split, Mac was involved in a DUI and fans took to social media to blame Ariana Grande and the trauma of a breakup that they knew nothing about. The message rang loud and clear “Ariana should’ve done more, loved him harder, been stronger for him” instead of “Mac is a grown up who is in charge of himself, his choices and it’s his responsibility to take care of his own s**t”.

This messaging is so dangerous and toxic for not just women, but any one who is a part of a relationship. Relationships work with mutual respect, care and love and whilst I know nothing about their time together, I know from both their creative outputs during that time that there was a whole lotta love and respect for one another, but you can’t just give and you can’t just take. After the DUI blame game Ariana tweeted:

I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be… I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety. Of course I didn’t share how hard or scary it was while it was happening, but it was. I will continue to pray from the bottom of my heart that he figures it all out.
— Ariana Grande

That was a year ago and both had moved on untill they didn’t, because this weekend Mac Miller was found dead at home and both fans and the media took no time in writing articles and sending messages to Ariana Grande blaming her for his personal destruction and ultimately his demise. I was screaming at my phone “how?” How has it come to this? How is it Ariana’s fault? How bloody ridiculous would Mac Miller find all this? Ariana was his “Divine Feminine”. His overdose is sad enough, but Ariana being blamed for his addiction is irresponsible and dangerous.

Blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his s**t together is a very major problem
— Ariana Grande

Instead of headlines and clickbait, can’t we use this time to communicate with each other with respect, love and care? Can we talk about addiction now please? Can we talk about depression? Can we talk about self care? Can we talk about the signs that have been there since Mac was 15 years old? Can we talk about it?

WRITTEN BY NATASHA BAILIE


If you are struggling with addiction, Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org

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