MENTAL MUTHA MEETS 3 BEFORE 30
MENTAL MUTHA MEETS 3 BEFORE 30
Are you a mental Mum or a Mum that’s mental?
Most days I don’t know if I am Arthur or Martha, so I haven’t got the scoobiest idea which I am!
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Meditate? Talk? Hide?
I enjoy a good moan; often at the husband for the slightest thing I can find…I don’t have to look too hard to be fair. But really what helps the most, is tidying the shit out of my house, this usually starts with hoovering, I can drown the kids moaning out during the witching hour quite nicely. I am ashamed to admit Henry is like my other lover; I have probably touched his nozzle more than my husbands.
Do you discuss your mental health with your mum mates?
Definitely not as much as I should, but recently whilst off work with stress, when I have had the “you ok hun texts”, I have said “nah not really” and talked more about what I call my ‘meh’ feeling.
How do you tackle mental health chats with your kid’s?
I haven’t really explained this, probably could do with a manual here. It’s hard to understand yourself and even more difficult to explain. I have struggled with grief in the last 18 months and have found I can talk about that opposed to my ‘meh’ feeling or anxiety.
Who helps you in the dark? (In your pits, your mental rock bottom - who is your hero?)
For me its people, lots and lots of; from friends to family. Everyone has a different way of seeing and that’s why chatting to more than one person about how you are feeling is really helpful. I love how my friends each with their own perspective can say that one little thing that all helps as part of some sort of jigsaw in piecing you back together. Well that and a few glasses of wine, a couple of gins and lots and lots of chocolate. A problem shared is a problem halved, but never ever do I half chocolate. I am only an oversharer of words, not food.
What helps you in the light? (Meditation? Procrastination? Perspiration? People?)
Talking, watching other over sharers on Instagram stories (the real ones, like @scummymummies @the unmumsymum and @motherpukka and so on) certainly not those family lifestyle type bloggers where life just looks all too perfect. I tried yoga once and only remember the downward dog position, but my pelvic floor is not what it used to be so I just stick with reading and exercising my tea drinking arm.
Is it hard to talk about your mental health? (Doesn't mean on Instagram necessarily, but do you feel the stigma is lifting and do you feel safe to speak your mind, even if it is possibly 'mental'?)
It’s the word ‘mental’ that makes me squirm, I know it probably shouldn’t but it has been used in derogatory terms for many years and been associated with the word ‘crazy’. So personally, I still don’t use the correct terminology, I am comfortable with saying I have anxiety and I am feeling a bit ‘meh’. Instead I feel more comfortable identifying my feelings in my own way using words like ‘meh’, but recognise avoiding the correct terminology does nothing to help life the stigma.
Where’s your head at? (Right here in this moment, today)
It’s been better and much clearer than it is right now. I am better than I was, but still a bit foggy and not firing on all cylinders but I am getting there and whilst it’s slower than by usual pace of 360mph I know that I am learning more about myself as I go.
Soft Play or Rehab?
Soft play on a Sunday at the less popular one in town, now that is a parenting win right there.
Jacobs Creek or a Jacobs Cracker? (Not sponsored)
I want both; typical mum that wants it all, but I love a cheese and wine night. Usually a Chardonnay or Chablis depending on how flush I am feeling.
Nut Job or Nut Allergy?
Nut job for having taken on a puppy, fallen pregnant with a surprise surprise Cilla baby and er… doing a Master’s degree whilst working. I am a nut job.
Self-Care or Self Sabotage?
Sabotage, but I am not too old to learn that self-care is only going to lead to a much nicer, happier mummy who will shout less over who decorated the sink in toothpaste and emptied the hammer beads over the bastard kitchen floor.
Journal or jog?
Hmmm, well both, blogging is just a bit of a hobby and cheap therapy but jogging works also, my body says jog and my head says blog.
Ask for help or happy to hermit?
I used to say ‘I can do it all’ up until recently. So this year I am going to say ‘ask for help’ and no more hermitting. Is that even a word?
If you'd like to read more conversations with Mental Muthas, click HERE.
Women talking unashamedly about their mental health and parenting innit.